Life in Gig Land, the Land of the Gigs, the Study & Science of Coffee–Caffeology!

Life in Gig Land: The Land of the Gigs & the Study and Science of Coffee: Caffeology

BIF 2016 -4th day Sat., Aug 6th last gig Allen St

Haunted Gypsy’s 4th day and last Infringement gig was at Caffeology, a little coffee shop on Allen Street in the infamous Allentown district of Buffalo. We had a little crowd that included a few fellow infringers—actress El-the-Mime, painter John Farallo and Ms. Sophie T., among them. We also had an unexpected guest who wandered in and reminded me we were in an heavily traversed urban area exposed to a major street containing a wide cast of characters. An audience member or a heckler? She wandered in and approached me at the microphone as she invited herself to a duet. I asked her what she wanted to sing, she said, “Whatever,” so I invited her to sing “Whatever” into the microphone. She did. It went like this:

“Whah–teh–vehr…”

And a passable rendition of “whatever” she did slur into the mic. The scent of alcohol perfumed the air. I jokingly thanked her for “whatever-ing” into the mic but suggested this was not a good time to jam. We were performing a show for an audience after all.

Unfortunately, her inebriated state caused her to lose her balance and (accidentally?) grab me by the throat!

Okay, I’ve been accused of being too open, naïve, possibly too friendly when I shouldn’t be, but this I could not tolerate. I do need to breathe. So I removed her hand off of my throat, realizing the alcohol had just made her clumsy. I think she meant to pat me on the shoulder, maybe?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Maybe.

Now, if I were a celebrity (ha! ha!) the tabloids would have created all sorts of stories surrounding this. I might get asked about it in interviews.
“Did you worry about your safety, Ms. Gypsy?”

“Oh, gosh, no. I have security guards and I pay them well. And there’s my yellow belt in  Karate. I lifted a full 10 lbs yesterday at the gym. I’m a pretty powerful person. I could have easily lifted that microphone (it weighed considerably less than 10 lbs) and wacked her on the head with it, but I held myself back. I don’t want to hurt anyone. These hands are weapons, and with all that physical strength comes a certain responsibility, you know.”

 

Ah, I can see it now. It would be all over the news.

Not.

But as democratizing as it is to be standing on the same ground level as the audience, it certainly does pose a challenge. One must grab the audience’s attention as a performer while physically being on the same level as everyone else (and while not being physically grabbed by one of the audience members.)

This has also started me thinking about how those of us who are not rich and famous often deal with the same issues as celebrities (stalkers, crazy fans, etc.) but we don’t have the resources to resolve them easily, so we have to be tough. We have to be our own bouncers, our own security.

Just like we need to be our own roadies, booking agents, and publicists—and on a much smaller budget.

And this blog entry has come to its inevitable end. Onward and upward!

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